What does “Story” mean for Tiara? What does it mean to “Be Seen”?
Tiara believes life is a journey of discovering and realizing one's potential to the fullest. She is currently a Community Lead in REAPRA Indonesia.
When we use language, we often mean different things because of different life experiences and life stories.
Darryl Lim 00:00
So you mentioned the word STORY a few times, and you linked it to various concepts as well.
Tiara 00:08
Story means... it's the accumulative of experiences that one has to be who they are now. Story means, like, what are the process or experiences that they had to go through to be like the person they are in... they are now, meaning like, the kind of position that might be different compared to the world, or like the society or the norms, and also just what makes them unique in a way that okay, some people may think that their story is invalid because, let's say, their job positions or like their standings in the society, but I see every human beings as equally important. And everyone have their own story that matters to be told, and I think it's valuable for me.
Darryl Lim 01:03
What exactly is valuable in that?
Tiara 01:06
Because I see that we are who we are now, because of all those experiences that we have, right and okay, there are people that can just be and do whatever they want to do now because of the expectations of others and everything. But what I find, like, the thing that [is] valuable for me is, despite all these things, the expectations of the world or society, like, how are you actually like moving, not moving away, but like choosing your own path and also be okay with it? I think that's something that fascinates me. I feel that there's a norm that is built within the society that, for example, for one to be successful, they need to do A, B, or C, right, or they need to always just follow what their parents do.But then for me, I also have that longing in a way that if, let's say the things that others suggest us to do is not actually aligned or like we want to do something else, I want those people, or even me myself, to be okay, and expressing that desire that, hey, I actually want to explore or discover the other path, and it's not so much of getting others' validation, but it's just that sense of freeing, that liberation, that it's okay for anyone to choose their own path, in which it may be different to what like the society or like others want them to do.
Darryl Lim 02:49
How did you arrive at this definition of choosing your own path and of story?
Tiara 02:58
So I think one of the point that started me about this thing is when I was in uni. So I briefly shared that I decided to study accounting because my father prompted me right? Because I didn't get into this business school that I wanted. And he said that, okay, this is the place for you. And I did it nevertheless, but I just realized that even if, let's say I studied accounting based on what he prompted me to do, there's a resistance within me that I didn't want to study just for the sake of studying. That's why, like I joined like organizations when I was in uni, trying so much to break away from this pressure of, like, performing good academic scores and everything, but like as a sense of me of exploring. And upon my encounter with this organization, where I was able to meet with lot of new people from different backgrounds, it just opened up my way that, oh, actually, people are able to, say, to express themselves, or like, to have the space to explore in which maybe, like they study like, say, finance, but let's say, if they want to explore about like business development, then it's okay as well. So I think that's one of the moment that sparked me in.
Darryl Lim 04:26
Was there a specific moment where you decided that you want to go your own path, or that story is very important for you?
Tiara 04:36
Yeah. Because for me, within that organization, I eventually led a team, right? And there was this one team member that I had, like on the paper, his profile actually not really good, in a way that the common sense in that organization [was that] people need to speak English well, and also like, yeah. That's the norm. But then I decided to take him in for my team and also continue to work with him, be it for his language proficiency, or even like his team management, because I see that he has this hunger, and he has been showcasing that. When I continuously challenged him like he's showing up. So that experience itself, it showed me that, oh, actually, yeah, like, the stories matter in a way that from nothing to something, let's say, or like, from what people regards as something that's not worth it, but for me, shaping and turning it into something that can be valuable. I think that's why it strengthened the prominence for me.
Darryl Lim 05:51
I noticed you use the word "VALUABLE" a lot. What does it mean for you?
Tiara 05:56
Valuable means that... Valuable means that something that is precious and also meaningful. The terms of value in itself, it can be just based on your own definition, right? It's not necessarily based on what people value. Let's say, for example, if one has very high career, then that person is valuable? I would say, like, not necessarily, but like, what's valuable for me is discovering the beauty in the small things?
Darryl Lim 06:31
Do you have specific examples of discovering the beauty in the small things in your life?
Tiara 06:37
Yeah. So the example can be just, for example, when, when we were in Grun Resort, and then we were just... I was just passing by, like, all these flowers, or plants, right? So for me, when I decided to stop by to look at, like, a certain flower for a certain time, and then just seeing, in terms of their colors, the shapes and everything. It's already like, yeah, discovering the beauty in small things.
Darryl Lim 07:04
And how does that make you feel?
Tiara 07:06
I feel that it's, it makes me "seen"? People can just easily pass by that flowers or plants, right? But then for me to take that moment to just stop and, let's say sit still or stand still and discovering that beauty in small things. Let's say, right? It's shows that for me myself, is like knowing that I am seen, that even if like, people are passing by on me, or like, let's say opportunities passed by on me, it's like... it's okay for me to grow according to the season that I'm in, and then, yeah, the beauty will flourish in its time.
Darryl Lim 07:47
Are there any like memories that you have right now in your life that relates to this whole idea of being seen?
Tiara 07:57
Um, I think yes, because, like when I was in school, especially in primary, it feels like no one really sees me in a way that I would be picked up from my school very late, like once, like all my friends had been picked up by their parents, right? But for me, it's gonna be like me, the last one, and then, like, I was just like, seeing everyone just passing by, and then I feel that I was by myself. So, yeah, but knowing that actually I'm seen, and there's someone with me even in that moment, yeah.
Darryl Lim 08:42
It's really interesting, because being seen then relates to your fascination with stories,
Tiara 08:51
Yeah
Darryl Lim 08:52
And of people creating their own path. It's almost like every flower that you see when you stop is... there's almost a parallel there where you stop and look at the employee, whom you hired, also, right?
Tiara 09:08
Yes.
Darryl Lim 09:09
Are there other connections between those words or phrases that you see for yourself?
Tiara 09:14
I think it's a sense that one is never overlooked. And every, yeah, every experience matters.
At Split Arenas, we believe professional communication should be rooted in personal stories. When we look at the words people use, and the stories behind those words, we understand who they are, and we can build better relationships. To learn more about what we do, click here. If you wish to experience this conversation, where you’ll discover a word that means a lot to you and the stories/memories behind that word, book an appointment here.
