What does “Transformation” mean for Dannea?
Dannea Moneva is a digital content marketer and writer, and an operations manager in the web development field. She loves reading, learning new things, traveling, and coffee.
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When we use language, we often mean different things because of different life experiences and life stories.
Darryl Lim
All right. So for you, TRANSFORMATION is the word. Tell me about it.
Dannea 00:15
So when I was young, like to give you a background, my parents or my family, we are considered as below average income family. So my mother started working as a worker at a factory or fashion jewelry, and my father worked in the same company as a driver, and so I was the eldest daughter, and I have a brother and a sister. And so there were three children, and at that time, with that kind of income and with that kind of job background for my parents, it was difficult to raise all of us kids, right? And so, I would say growing up was also very challenging for us, but my parents were very good. They always encouraged us or pushed us to really take our education seriously. And as a young girl i i could understand where they're coming from. So I learned a lot of things. And early on, reading and the subject of English really appealed to me. And whenever teachers want us to write something or to tell stories in front of the class, I was very, very active in that area, and so even at a young age, the society's demands or like rules already affected me, because, I'm not sure for Singapore, but in the Philippines at the time, like about 20 years ago, it's not good to stand out, if you get what I'm saying. People in our environment, or in our area at least, were subconsciously forced to be in line with the rest of the people and not stand out too much, not get too much attention. And then if you do that, you could be teased or bullied by other kids, like, oh, like she's acting like she's so smart or something like that, you know. So as a kid that who really wanted to excel well in English or writing or telling stories, I kind of told myself I really enjoyed this, you know. So I don't care anymore. I did what I did, and well, I got through some difficult things, but that's fine. And so growing up, more things, more rules, or more like society's regulations somehow affected me again. Like I was told, "You should take up engineering, or take up something that will allow you to have a career and make money." I think that's common among many Asians, so unfortunately, I gave in to that pressure and I took up computer engineering, but again, take note that I really like English and writing and even speaking, right? So, I did not do well in college, unfortunately. And so I again, went through many difficult times and self-criticism and reflections and things like that, and it came to a point where I just told myself, enough is enough. And actually, I did not finish college. It's unfortunate, but also fortunate for me. I then found... during my third year of college, I then found a job online. At that time the internet also started, which is a very good opportunity for people my age. And so, like for someone who likes writing, I found a job online doing SEO content work. All throughout that, I kept on transforming myself like, I would say, I did not stop myself... I did not keep myself in a bad situation forever. I tried to really learn or figure out what to do next, so that I could pursue what I really like or what I really want. And so despite many emotional turmoil between me and my parents, because of the falling out of my college and my education, and also because at that time, like financially, we were not in a good place. So I also told myself, you know what? I'm getting the job. This is what I like, and also I'm going to bring some money to the household and contribute. So eventually I forged my path in SEO, content writing, and eventually online marketing, online writing. So I was able to do that for, I don't know, maybe almost ten years. And it's came to the point where technology keeps improving. And so I had to learn many things and evolve. And so from being an online writer, I became an editor, and then eventually became managing editor and then a manager, like they're all different job positions, right? Because if you're just writing, then you're writing. What you're concerned about are your sources, your work, the product that you're writing about. And then editor, you are now concerned about the semantics or the styles or the grammar, the technical stuff, because you need to correct them and make sure the final output is good. And then I became a manager, which is another kind of matter to discover and learn, and now I had to transform myself into someone who can relate with people, talk to people, and manage and organize, right? I would say there's a lot of transformation in between these. Because initially, as a writer, I'm just at home writing in front of my computer. I'm alone, and I like I would say I am an introvert and so I liked all of that. I don't care if there are not so many people around me, but when I became a manager, relate with people, talk to people, go on meetings with people, there was a lot of tension when I had to transform into that. But eventually I managed to go, and I think I did well, considering there are still some people from my previous companies who I manage, who, until now, reach out to me. And you know, we still get together sometimes, or contact each other. And so I would say I was not a complete failure as a as a manager at that time. And then, like, okay, things change again. And then games, came into being online... like mobile games? So then, I found a job at a Japanese company this time, and still a managing editor, but this time, it's all about the mobile games. We were writing short blurbs or short summaries of what these games are, and at the same time, like trying to market it to users. So in order to do that, we have to learn gaming, because we have to try the games themselves, right? And understand those and then kind of have to expose myself to a bunch of games, like, not just the usual that I play, but like, really a wide range, from puzzles to kids games to adult games to shooting games to whatever games. So I had to learn all of that. And I very much enjoyed that process. And welcomed all of that. But on the other side, I also have to expose myself to any Japanese working culture. So initially, I was working with British people and Australian people and American people, and I would say they're more relaxed and not as numbers-concentrated like Japanese working culture is, I would say. And so, yeah, I have to transform again myself to being very, very detail oriented, and crunch the numbers and at the same time, like, make sure everything follows the guidelines, because they're very strict about that. So, yeah, that was another switch that I had to make personally. And then after that, unfortunately, the Japanese company pulled out their office from Cebu, and they focused their focus on their Japan headquarters. So then I switched back to freelancing, which is yet another kind of different exposure to me, because then I have to juggle multiple clients and with different businesses, right? So they have all different needs. I still focus on, like writing, content, SEO, content-writing and like marketing, writing, those kinds of things, but they have different needs, like some clients would have need for product reviews or product content. So they're all about understanding their product, while the others are more about how-to's, or educational content. At some point, I even had to write like white papers and even educational papers for college level, something like that. My background is in computer engineering, so these are things that I have not known before and have to learn, but again, I challenged myself, and I told myself that I would rather focus on the positive, right, like these are new things that I can learn and put in my brain, and so that's a good thing, rather than focus on the stress or the difficulty. So that's that's how I've always treated these things. And then finally, I'm now working with a Dutch CEO, and the company is US-based primarily, but our CEO is Dutch, so I have to adjust to both types of working culture, and at the same time, now I'm managing a team of web developers, not anymore writers. So like I am now working as an operations manager for a tech company, so mainly working with web developers. And again, it's a different environment, because it's about creating software now, not just content. They're totally different for me, and so I had to learn things again and figure out the new technology so that I could relate to them and so on and so forth. So yeah, as I would say, I've been transforming myself over and over again throughout my career journey so far.
Darryl Lim 12:10
I have a question. As I hear your story, I hear this phrase a lot, and I think it definitely means something to you, where you "had to" transform during many instances, and you "had to" learn different things. And the phrase is a very, very special phrase that we don't usually zoom into, but I would like you to consider it and think about it, which is you "had to". In your story. There were many times when "you had" to transform. You "had to" learn different things. You "had to" move in different ways, and basically, you "HAD TO" adapt to various changes. Maybe you could tell me more about this phrase. What does it mean for you?
Dannea 14:02
So when I say I "had to", I would say that's an internal push for myself. It's a more of a me talking to myself, rather than external sources pushing me to do things, mainly because I realized that if I stay in one place and not learn new things or not welcome new experiences and take away the positives out of those experiences, and even though if I encounter maybe negative or challenging situations, I tell myself, I "have to" get over this, you know, because... I don't know if it's a personality thing or or a formative thing. I don't know. But I don't want to be stuck in a place where I don't feel okay. I want to improve basically, so "I have to".
Darryl Lim 15:13
How would you describe the force? What do you think is the source of this internal force that you talk about?
Dannea 15:22
I think it stems from the fact that I read a lot of things when I was younger, and there was one time when I was in elementary school, our school classroom burned down due to an accident, and because of that, our whole class was relocated into the library, and for many months, we stayed in the library and conducted our classes in there, and I was seated right beside this cabinet filled with books, and I'm sorry, but If I got bored with my teacher's classes, I just picked one book and I read them while the teacher was conducting the class. But anyway, I read a lot of those books, and those books turned out to be like mini lessons for kids to just be better, something like that. I can't recall anymore the specific stories, but there were a bunch of stories, like, someone lost his dog and has to find it and be better, or about kids and their parents, relationships, things like that. I think the whole thing that I got from there is to keep improving, I guess.
Darryl Lim 16:39
So that whole encounter with those books helped you to realize that you had to keep on improving.
Dannea 16:51
Yes, and not be stuck in a rut, basically. If I don't feel good in a situation, then I have to overcome it and feel better.
Darryl Lim 17:05
What does "BEING STUCK" mean for you?
Dannea 17:09
Okay, for example, in college, like it's one of the biggest things I would say that formed my personality. I was told to study this and be an engineer or something like that. And initially I really didn't want to, but I caved into the pressure from the parents and the peers, and so I did that, and then I managed to get a scholarship for that course, and I had to maintain very high grades to maintain my scholarship. Again, we are not financially able to send me to college without scholarship. So all the pressure, I'm not sure if you can imagine. I had so much pressure during that time because, yeah, there's like, I had to study a course that I was not so interested in, and also had to study really hard to maintain my scholarship, because otherwise there would be no one else to spend for my college tuition and and even the allowances I got for meals and snacks were taken from that scholarship money, and if I don't maintain the scholarship, then everything will go down the drain, right? And so there was so much pressure, but then I didn't really like that course, unfortunately. And so at some point, like something in me just snapped and I told myself that this is not a good situation. I need to get out of this. But at the same time, I didn't want to get out of the hot pan, straight into the fire... kind of situation? So I wrecked my brain. So what could I do? What could I do? And also, I wanted to pursue my goals, right? And fortunately, I found a way. And I would say it was a good direction from then on.
Darryl Lim 19:39
Tell me about the moment when something snapped in you and you realized that you have to do all of these things.
Dannea 19:50
I think that was when I failed one subject, because I really couldn't maintain the pressure, because it's an engineering course. And it's all mathematics and all the very high computations kind of thing, and programming, and that was early stage. So we had to study C Plus Plus, and then PHP, CSS, and SQL, which, I would say, are not so easy to learn compared to these days. The programming these days. There was not so much information or like resources yet for us to learn from at that time. I was really struggling and yeah, I failed one subject, and I know that time, my scholarship was over. I told myself, it's really not good. I had to deal with my parents, their disappointment, and my disappointment in myself. And I really did not like those emotions, feeling those emotions at that time. So I really told myself, I need to do something to get better.
Darryl Lim 21:00
What were those emotions?
Dannea 21:03
Yeah, disappointment in myself. The dread that my parents will be disappointed in me. And you know, you're young and I thought at that time that, you know, my parents were also struggling, they worked very hard at their jobs to improve themselves as well, to improve their salary, so they could send the three of us to school. And then, here I am. I failed the subject. And so what would they think of me? Something like that.
Darryl Lim 21:43
Okay, so that's kind of your motivation, despite the disappointment, you wanted to keep moving forward and find a way to transform so that you can change from being in a rut into something else for yourself?
Dannea 22:03
Yes. So my thoughts at that time was like, Okay, this path is not working for me. It's closed for me. It's closed to me. Now, what should I do to be able to do what I want and learn things that I enjoy learning and at the same time bring money to the table so that I could help my family? And so yes, I was like, I really like writing. What if I find writing jobs online? And fortunately, I did. And so I just run from there.
Darryl Lim 22:50
What's stopped you from just giving up?
Dannea 22:58
Well, I don't know as well. At that time, it never crossed my mind to give up.
Darryl Lim 23:07
You want to say more?
Dannea 23:19
Yeah, because my thought processes, normally is to just, you know, do something and not give up. It may sound contradictory, but I feel like I also have some ability to just let go. You know what I mean? Like there was such heavy pressure or heavy emphasis for me to take the course from my parents, from my relatives, from myself, right? But then when I figured out it's not for me really, then I let go, even if there were bridges burned, right? And then, maybe it helped... reading those things about, like, forging on, moving forward, and like, picking yourself up when you're down and bruised, but you still stand, something like that. And even to this day, like I have a whole playlist in Spotify, where it's all just songs of motivation.
Darryl Lim 24:36
Maybe we'll end up with this whole idea of LETTING GO, because I think that's something that is super interesting that you have just brought up, because part of moving forward and transforming is letting go. How do you think you arrived at the knowledge that you have to let go?
Dannea 25:13
I would say I am a pretty introspective person, and I'm also the type of person who keeps reading like personality stuff. And, you know, I've mentioned I'm an introvert. I am also probably an INTJ, if you're into those things. Yeah, I'm that kind of person. I keep reading, and then I read things like, what are the the difficulties for this type of personality or for this type of person, and how can you overcome those things or change yourself? Move away from those things? And during my career as well, like when I became a manager, for example, I kept reading and buying books about building relationships, leading as a leader, not a manager, things like that. And so, with all of that said, the question was letting go, right? Like I've kind of resonated with that when I read those things about that matter. So in business, in my work, in my relationships, I've learned to let go, if the burden is too heavy. So first, my first work, for example, I was there for five years, and I really built strong relationships. But then there came a point where I felt like, for me, the environment or the situation, the company, was not favorable anymore. It came to that point, and I was like, okay, I'm done. So I submitted my resignation that day when I thought of it. And then it's the same with friends and relationships. Like if this relationship is not working anymore, I have to let go. And then that's it. Maybe because I also believe that people are not always meant to be with you forever in your life. Maybe they're just there at some point of your life to help you with something.
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